For many Survivors of Child Sexual abuse self-harm is about ‘taking control’ as it creates an illusion of power over our lives. For some it relieves feelings of self-hate, anxiety, shame and guilt caused by child abuse. Others just want to feel associated overcoming depersonalisation by ‘feeling alive’. Many survivors who are not DID say they ‘don’t remember’ cutting/burning themselves but this doesn’t mean they might be multiple- the pain of memory recall can be so overwhelming they dissociate to block it out.
Some survivors act out their abuse as they try to make sense of the original hurt, which brings the memory of actual abuse into awareness. Harming alters in a Multiple system may have a particular reasons for self harming which can be nasty for CEA’s particularly where sexual organs have been attacked out of awareness.
Eating disorders are not always about being in recovery from child abuse, when they are Survivors often use this as a mechanism to take control as it is the only way they could get attention. For others it’s about not growing up and a fear of becoming an abusive adult (Vampire Syndrome). We have noticed Disorganised Eating Disorder is especially prevalent amongst Survivors abused in a ritualistic setting, especially paedophile rings and satanic ritualistic abuse rings where they were starved and/or forced to eat human waist, pets or human flesh.
Many Survivors deny self harm and may feel embarrassed about it. We do not ignore self harm at I et al we understand that you hurt and we will acknowledge your pain.
If we believe you need urgent medical attention we will call you an ambulance and may request signing a disclaimer if you decline treatment.