We will be adding some video here so watch this space we hope that you find some useful stuff here...please let us know.
When we are first working out that we are Survivors of child sexual abuse it's hard to work out what the long and short term effects of being abused actually are.We list them here.
Some Survivors get confused about who was responsible for their abuse and blame themselves for not stopping it or simply just being abused (see below). We look at how paedophiles groomhere.
Some Survivors use self-punishing coping such as self-harm and eating disorders. We look at thishere.
Being a Survivor of Child Abuse
Child abuse, child sexual abuse, clerical abuse (By any representative of any deity), spiritual abuse, ritualistic abuse in any setting including paedophile and satanic ritualistic abuse rings is the worst betrayal of trust committed on the most innocent.It is unforgivable.We want to make it absolutely clear here.....
No child is ever responsible for their own abuse.
No child isevertoo pretty/bad/sexy or whatever to'make' an older person take their clothes of and touch...ever. Child sexual abuse is never about the child, it's about power. The reason you were abused is because you were an unprotected child and the criminal thought you were physically and/or psychologically vulnerable enough that they could get away with it. Child Sexual Abuse is a term that means 'sexual assault,' 'vaginal rape,' 'anal rape,' 'oral rape' and other related charges, of children.
There is NO excuse for child abuse.
This is a typical poem about being a Survivor...
"You are the only person who can forgive yourself. Once that forgiving has taken place, you can then console yourself with the knowledge that a diamond is the result of extreme pressure….The pressure can make you into something quite precious, quite wonderful, quite beautiful and extremely hard."
(Maya Angelou Poet and Survivor)
We like the sentiment of this poem but at I et al we struggle with the concept of 'forgiveness' (of paedophiles) as this is often an excuse to remain in denial by denying blame. Blame is a powerful but often overlooked even though it is a normal human emotion. If we are unable to put the blame directly on the shoulders of the people responsible- the paedophiles, there is nowhere else for it to go except directed at ourselves. We believe it is blame energy that drives self-punishment associated with PTSD:- excessive exercise:self harm (parasuicide); eating disorders; excessive risk taking;alcoholism and drug use- our philosophy of self-empowerment in the work we do helps people take control of their condition.
Proud to be Survivors and Integrates
At I et al we are proud to use the term 'Survivor' because it is empowering and reminds us that it's over. This doesn't mean we're proud to have been abused, but that we are proud to have become the people we are, mothers, fathers, and professionals from all walks of life who happen to have survived the most appalling betrayal of trust that can be inflicted on a child. It was notusthat decided to abuse a child, it is notourshame,shame belongs to the paedophiles, the people who should have protected us and wider society. We are not ashamed to be Multiple/Integrates. It is notoursecret so we arenotashamed of having been abused. We are proud we're not victims anymore and to stand up as Survivors and Multiples taking responsibility for our own recovery’s. If you are looking for help on these pages, perhaps for the first time, we encourage you to read all the sites and whatever you can (who doesn't?) because you will find stuff that is useful for you, in doing this you are taking the driving seat in your recovery-you are a Survivor.
Welcome to the I et al family of Dissociative Survivors and the wider Survivor movement.